Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft!
Put your ear to the page and you can hear it. It’s the sound of Stab milking Taj Burrow’s teats. When we got the bird up in the air again in Bali, it was to photograph and film the awesome team of Andy Irons, Joel Parkinson and Taj Burrow. To make it different to our previous chopper shoots, we wanted em to acid drop out of the bird and onto a wave. Failing that, to tow into waves behind the bird. Gimmickry? You know it. If we could’ve got gold jumpsuits with inbuilt laser lights sewn up in time or could afford the five-grand needed to fund the release of thousands of white peace doves into the chopper blades to create a sky of red, we would’ve.
Then, Joel, who was in Gnaraloo with Jack McCoy for the filming of Free as a Dog, got flooded in; Andy had pressing commitments in California and pulled the pin. So, out came TB’s withered teats and the experienced fingers of my co-editor Sam McIntosh went to work on his reluctant nipples.
For two days, Taj was filmed in Bali’s rights (Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft!) while the Stab/Billabong bird with its cargo of photographers and videoers hovered above. The heli jump didn’t work – but it can and will soon enough – and in the wash-up we didn’t create anything groundbreaking. We did soak up enough action for a cover and a handful of magazine spreads , though (Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft!). As milked as he might be, TB is that rare breed of surfer that responds to the Big Occasion. Watch the final section in Fair Bits if you have any doubts.
This issue also marks our first annual Stab Awards. In the glittering metropolis of Los Angeles, Andy Irons, his little bro Bruce, Reef McIntosh, Sunny Garcia, Ry Craike, Mark Mathews and Taj Burrow (Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft! Fffffft!) were presented with custom Stab rings in honour of their stunning achievements. Andy won his for best cameos (Fair Bits, The Bruce Movie), Reef for the best act of self-preservation when he let his ski fly over his tow-partner’s head, Ry for the best frontside waft in the business, Mark Mathews for being the most barrelled man of 2005, Taj for best section in a movie, Bruce for his rocket ships and Sunny for surfing’s most enduring turn. Their delighted faces, captured by photographers Steve Sherman and Steve Baccon, are worth the price of admission alone. Who would’ve thought in this materialistic world where professional athletes won’t stir for anything less than a handjob from a top model or the guarantee of prizemoney that a $200 ring could bring such happiness.
To wrap up the mag, we present 20 gigs worth of digi photo files, every photo spat out of a memory card. Film? She dead. Join us as we dance on its grave. – Derek Rielly.
