Tell me Brenden, what was the purpose of your Japanese adventure?
First, I did a trip to Mex with Ike. We had fun, we got barrelled. Weeks went by, I went home, he went back to Hawaii and then out of the blue, he said, I'm going to Japan, it's typhoon season!" And I went, "Bugger it, I've never been there before and after all these years of having a Japanese sponsor I'm going to get my arse over there and get some swell." We didn't get a typhoon swell, of course.
What kind of reception does a world-cass freerider like yourself" receive in Japan?
I'd pull up outside a 7-11 and there'd be a carload of surfers going: MARGO-SAN! MAR-GO-SAN! I'd get a photo with each of 'em, then a group shot. I don't mind that; I'm no Kelly Slater, Andy Irons or Parko. It doesn't happen every day of the week.
What is your opinion of the beautiful yella man?
They're awesome! They're respectful, they're kind but at the same time if you give 'em shit they'll stand up to you. All of us could take a bit out of what the Japanese are like. They're extremely good people. The waves/ describe the coast you surfed. The waves we surfed were breakwall waves, mainly, like home, wedging off walls. Fun, three-to-four foot. And the coastline was radical — how's this for an example? One afternoon we were surfing in front of a nuclear powerplant. Big bits of metal and concrete were strewn everywhere and guys were fishing off the breakwall... next to a cooling tower. We met this Japanese hippy who used to work in the powerplant and he'd turned into a full Rastafarian and he told us to come to the mountains. We drove 45 minutes inland, got on the bongo drums, and were just hanging in the most beautiful piece of wilderness. These guys were living off the earth, no electricity, the full vegans.
What are the great myths about Japan?
The nude bathhouses took some getting used to. Jesse Hines, who is a devout believer of our lord Jesus Christ, found it extremely hard to share his divine gifts. But when you're in a different country it's imperative you experience the culture. I thought, I'm in a nude bathhouse, bugger it, I'm getting nude. A man needs to wash.
Tell me every single word you mow in Japanese and its meaning.
Konichi wa (hello), arigato (thank you). The very basics. I shook my head, just like they do when they're over here.
What electronic equipment did you purchase in the land of the rising sun?
I spent my time in the country and when we went to Tokyo, I was too busy looking in windows.
Have you seen the movie Lost in Translation?
No, but I've been meaning to rent it. I saw the cover when we shot the opener.
What s your opinion of the opening scene where Sofia Coppola's camera lens pans lovingly across Scarlett Johanseen's cotton-swatch?
I wish I could comment.
Have you ever sung a song in a karaoke lounge/ like Roxy Music's More Than This?
No karaoke, unfortunately. We just ate and surfed. We didn't go out in Tokyo and go nuts. Which is rare for me, I usually try to sample a culture's many fruits.
Women? Aw, geez, I saw many beautiful girls dressed as barbie dolls. Long hair, little ponytails, school uniforms. Not my cup of tea, however.
Were you lonely in Japan?
If I was there by myself, I could imagine feeling a little blue. I was loving every minute of every day. I've been wanting to go there for the last 12 years.
Did you feel old?
The fashion in Tokyo made me feel old. The latest clothes, the wild hairstyles. I'm conservative in that department.
Was anyone unkind to you?
Yes, a nude old man was. Not all Japanese conform to the stereotype I mentioned earlier. I was in the bathouse. And I was doing something wrong. And this naked man grunted at me. I asked him to pass something to me and he went: "HAAA!" I just went, shit, I thought you guys were all friendly. Perhaps the nudity embarrassed him. And there were angry metalheads driving around gacked off their heads and headbanging to the music. They're not all nice.
On your deathbed/ what will be your one/ ingering memory of Japan?
The rolling hills. The rainforest. The last thing I expected was to be drinking water out of a spring
