HOW TO CREATE MOOD LIGHTING IN YOUR SHANTY CRIB
With Jarrad Howse
Welcome back to another month of creepy home crafts. Okay, I'm sure everyone's probably wondering where the fuck all
the naked ladies, baguettes and wine racks are this month? Shit, I am too. I was sucking so much marrow over the last month in France that I need a bone transplant. If you've ever been to the south of France you'll sympathise. The place is a joke. Apart from competing, there's naked girls -said girls not old women, I'm talking 18, 21 -year-old naked ass playing bat and ball, applying coconut tanning lotion to each other. Have you ever seen a girl touch another girl's cans on the beach... god danmmmmn! That's why this month you don't have a wine rack I like promised, though I thought you'd understand what I've been through.
Don't be too bummed though. This month we're making a rad lamp out of your sister's pink ghetto blaster, giving your room more atmosphere than candles and by being such a handy/creative little bugger you'll more than likely lose your virginity or get a smoker because of it. This is the sort of shit you'd drop a gee on in a quirky back street in Fitzroy or Paddington.
INGREDIENTS
Broken or working ghetto blaster, preferably a pastel colour (throws some crazy mood lighting, hence giving you better odds of being laid for your genius creation). 2 x baton holders (the white things globes screw into)
2 x globes (the things Thomas Edison invented in 1878) 20 minutes of your usually boring lives
2x screw drivers (1 x phillips head, 1 x flat head)
A pair of pliers
A roll of electrical tape
Make it
- Get a hold of your phillips head screwdriver, flip your pastel ghetto blaster over, and take out all the screws.
- Remove back of ghetto blaster. Be careful not to break it. It should just un-clip without force.
- Now, the fun begins. Gut it, all of it, remove the insides of the ghetto, and leave nothing except the centre cassette holder.
- This is the part where having an electrician in the family will come in very handy. Being electrocuted sucks and so does burning your parents' crib down. Get a hold of the cord that plugs into the back of the ghetto. With your pliers, snip the small end off, leaving the end you plug into the wall.
- Measure 20cm from the end you just snipped and cut again. This piece is for looping under the cassette holder to connect your second light globe.
- Strip all the lose ends so you have roughly 1cm of copper wire showing from each. You should have six loose ends.
-
Connect both wires from one end of your 20cm piece to both wires on the larger piece, by twisting and folding the copper together. Twist and fold the last two ends, so they're neat and ready for insertion to the baton holder. You should have four loose copper ends now, two for each baton holder,
- Thread the two single wires under the cassette holder. You should now have a pair each side.
- Grab your baton holder, insert your two wires, one in each hole. There are four points (holes) in a baton holder. The wires go in the terminals either side of the terminal marked green (earth) and not in the one marked (loop). Do the same on the other side.
- Insert globes. Make sure the globes are no more than 20 watts or you could have a pile of melted plastic in your room or cremate your parents' crib.
- Re-assemble ghetto.
- Plug it in, plug it in. Ifs alive. . sheeeeeeeeeet! Now that my friend is what we in the lighting world call a luna aphrodisiac. Prepare to be ripped into by all females who lay eyes upon it. Eewwww!
A WARNING: Dunno what went wrong with ours, but the smell of burning plastic accompanied our triumph. Keep an eye on your new mood lamp. Don't leave iton all night. Keep a fire extinguisher at hand.
Posts: 9
Reply #9 on : Wed November 19, 2008, 21:45:12