GO! GO! DO IT, BABY, DO IT! HEAR ME TALKING TO YA! WOW!
The girl stuffed in the black bikini twists her coral lips and pounds her feet purposefully on the linoleum floor of the barge. Her pendulous breasts swing and her hips rotate.
“Oh my god!” screams the lifeguard, gaily.
“Whoo!” she screams back.
“You gonna bust a gut, girl!” someone says to the wind.
“Maybe you better stop,” says a man.
“Hell no! I ain’t stopping now,” the girl in the black bikini shrieks. “Who says a six-foot tall girl who ain’t got no top can’t dance?”
With a flourish of her fingers the girl in the black bikini snaps her top off and delivers it to a just-formed circle of admirers. They clap and receive the tiny ball of lycra. She is built well and the breasts are typical of a 20-year-old, high and still with the natural elasticity that is apparent in women until the age of 25.
It is Sunday, November 1, 2009. The sun is warm, but it is not hot. The water is cool, but it is not cold. Shark Fin Soup is Stab and Von Zipper’s second annual water themed party. Last year, it was drinks, canapés and dancing by a pool in the suburb of Point Piper. This year, a barge is parked 50 metres offshore from the Sydney harbour beach of Athol Bay, a beach famous for its white sand, blue water and occasional White Pointer sharks.
Six cigarette boats pull in close to the party and point their snouts at the barge. On one, Vogue photographer Richard Freeman is shooting two girls for a feature in this magazine’s December issue. He uses a series of Cokin filters, including starburst and diffusion. The images are reminiscent of Saint Tropez in the seventies and they are very good. The boat is currently for sale. Its sale price has been reduced from just under one million dollars to just under seven hundred thousand. I am rightly asked to move when my cut foot starts to spill on the striped cushions near the bow. (Enquiries for the sale, please contact 02 9328 0999)
A man with hair that has been Brilliantined into a wedge opens the party with an acoustic set that includes the 1987 Paul Simon hit, You Can Call Me Al. The song was a mild success in the US and the UK, but it was a number one hit in Australia. Older members of the crowd sing the lyrics and spasm with each downward strum. Later I ask the singer his name. He says, “Dax.”.
A newly-formed band called A Confederacy of Dunces takes the stage. The women enjoy their music and some appear to go into a trance because the band members are unusually good looking. These are men who will never be forced to lay between the withered thighs of the ugly.
Blake, Kaya and Andrew from the Beach Burrito Company in Bondi serve shark tacos. It is estimated each guest will eat two tacos. They eat many more and extra tubs of sour cream have to be ferried in from Bondi. In a nod to environmentalism, shark fin soup is not actually served despite its symmetry with the party’s theme. If I am to be truthful, we could only get two cans even though we had driven into Chinatown and even then we had to get our Asian-featured designer Shinya to buy the two cans because the Asian is rightly suspicious of white men who buy shark fin soup. They smell protest, perhaps a foot in the door from A Current Affair.
The Water Police make a series of passes. They are in good spirits and decide not to board the barge to force Canberra’s small-town morality upon this largely good-natured crowd of bit-city libertines. There is a great spirit of camaraderie.
Later, and not long before sunset, in a small cabin below, a man pulls a fire extinguisher off a wall and joy rides the device. It is very difficult to breathe. In the confusion that follows, a punch is thrown and a windpipe is manually constricted. The joy rider is marched off the boat and told to walk home. The damage bill is $1500.
Twlight brings conclusion. For many it is just the start of the night – Cream Tangerine in Bondi for some; a private cabana at the Ivy in the city for some. A round of drinks at the Ivy costs $100. The lychees are fresh but the mangos are a little too ripe, although the sweetness is not unbearable . – John Kennedy Toole.
These photos plus about 200 more on their site are courtesy of lifewithoutandy
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Reply #26 on : Mon December 14, 2009, 11:43:25