HOY SUNNIES FOR STAB LOVERS

Electric Hoy

When it’s time to Rock ‘n’ Roll these are the Shades Mothafuckas! reads the accompanying press release of Electric’s new Matt Hoy signature shades, The Hoyo.
“I’M ON THE PHONE!” screams Hoyo into the background whine of screaming children when I ring him up to discuss his new signature pieces. “Yeah it’s my first real signature model of anything. Signature everything these days, sign off on everything,” he says.
“Hopefully my sunnies will go for eight grand in 10 years,” says Hoyo, referring to the exponentially growing rate of Michael Jordan’s signature shoes, he then tells me of his plan to stockpile them in the house as an investment egg. Some ten years after his competitive surfing career ended, Matt Hoy has been given his testimonial, complete with a balls-out burn through the seediest of San Diego’s nightclub district: “We had this big party at the Bondi bar in San Diego. We had cold stubbies of VB and a big esky. It was insane, mate.”
Sounds it. While over there Hoyo caught up with the tour that he once owned when it rolled into town for the Boost WCT at Trestles. I ask how the tour’s changed, and since his departure who he thought the characters on tour were.
“I don’t think there’s any left,” he says. “It’s a bit more professional, a bit more focused. Nah, but each to their own, they’re all doin’ what they have to do.”
And what’s his job at Quiksilver entail? ”They’ve got me workin’ in PR, promotions and what do they call me? ‘An Ambassador for the brand.’”
And the future for this punk rock, chemical-fuelled hellman that displaces footy-fields of water in just one turn? Reality, it seems.
“Mate, I’ve got three kids to look after, it’s school holidays soon.”
Hmmm, Rock ‘n’ Roll Mothafuckas, indeed.- Jed Smith

Good news to these five entries

Raff Dog
Shaun
Mug coslanza
HPP
Tom Rawlins

Keep an eye on your inbox, we're going to be needing your postal deets.

Cam
Posts: 8

Dodge and swerve specs
Reply #7 on : Fri October 10, 2008, 21:34:21

Hoyo...because he's a mad cunt!

Tom Rawlins
Posts: 8

Hoyo goggles
Reply #6 on : Fri October 10, 2008, 11:59:59

the big(G)est Character? (I)t's all in the name...
Wayne 'Rabbit' Bartholomew.
Look beyond the (V)eil.
Sur(E) you can look at all the (M)en who actually comp(E)te on the (T)our - but be(H)ind the sc(E)ne(S) if you dig (H)ard enough you'll find (A) rabbit.
the bunny's got more (D)am charact(E)r then the freakin alphabet.
(S)o if there's an award for character don't give it to some young gun but make it a habbit and give it to the rabbit.

HPP
Posts: 8

Hoyo Perve Protectors
Reply #5 on : Thu October 09, 2008, 22:41:50

My friends, when I think “characters” on tour I don’t think of jokers, I think of mother fuckers who have such short fuses you don’t feel comfortable farting near them incase they all of a sudden light up. Pancho “board to the nose” Sullivan is the prime example. Pancho descended down from his treehouse at age 3 days, upon his parents throwing him straight into the line up at pipe. It was here he learnt the ins and outs of how to hurt a wave. This man is old but can still cook steak by staring at it.

Raff-Dog
Posts: 8

Hoyo Shades
Reply #4 on : Wed October 08, 2008, 16:33:37

Sorry, but everyone who's posted already is waaay off. How predictable: "Dane's the biggest character 'cos he reads Hemingway and wears knitted cardigans and shit and geek chic is so hot right now." Pfft. Adriano? Midgets ain’t got no character, Gary Coleman being the sole exception. You wanna know what defines character? Having the stones to back yourself and make outrageous claims. No one does this better than behemoth Saffa Jordy Smith. Who else has called out pretty much every surfer on tour by saying contest surfing is boring? Sure, Kerrsy did it too but he dropped off the tour first year out (or was that retired?) therefore falling on his own sword and voiding any prior trash talk. Need more proof of Jordy’s character? The cocky prick has claimed that he’ll be world champ within three years of being on tour and turned down the mighty Swoosh after screwing the Bong out of his signature (what the fuck’s a ‘verbal contract’ anyway?). So that’s all there is to it really: Stones - and a mouth - the size of grapefruit. That’s what makes a character. At least till he picks up a handy drug or alcohol habit.

yo mumma (its still funny fuckface)
Posts: 8

Re: HOY SUNNIES FOR STAB LOVERS
Reply #3 on : Mon September 29, 2008, 13:26:47

Adriano.

Everyone else thinks Dane. wrong. anyone who kills it like dane should be a little punkish (or is it hipsterish- yeah hipsterish). Nope adriano is the man bitches. hussling the tour, paying for his niggas to do the qs - shooting muthafuckas in brasil - thats character. anyone can bitch slap the industry from ventura or hawaii. lets see em do it while them little coke heads from city of god are slitting their throat. Adriano - hes our brown character champ!

mug costanza
Posts: 8

Re: HOY SUNNIES FOR STAB LOVERS
Reply #2 on : Sat September 27, 2008, 07:10:37

Yeah, agreed. The level of surfing is at it's highest level ever, but the current structure just doesn't allow or encourage independent thought. The post heat interviews make me want to stick pins in my eyes. "Yeah, I was just so stoked to get out of that one. ******** is just such a great competitor, and it really just came down to who got the waves, it was anybody's game out there." Pretty much 99% of interviews go down this way. It's not the surfer's fault though. They know that they are being bland as shit, they just want to make sure there sponsors don't drop them, so they don't lose there six figure incomes. Makes sense to me. For once, I would love to see someone like Kelly Slater or Joel Parkinson win a heat against somebody like Jihad Kodre and say " Of course I won that fucking heat. I'm one of the, if not the greatest surfer of all time. I could've beaten that guy when I was 10. I even got paid more than he is when I was 8." As far as the greatest character on tour, definetly CJ Hobgood. Remember when he lost early in Tahiti last year and he went all cuckoo. He gave himself a dumb and dumber haircut, grabbed a boogieboard and stood on the reef, slowly losing his mind. He is also a Jesus fanatic and that has to count for something.

Shaun Tunnicliffe
Posts: 8

Characters
Reply #1 on : Fri September 26, 2008, 20:49:12

Hard to be a character on a tour where everyones opinion/character/problems is muted by the ASP or their sponsors but I'd say Dane "If this wasn't such a gay industry I'd have so much more to say" Reynolds as he speaks his mind and surfs heats the way they should be surfed. Andy in a close second