Jamie O'brien is a showman, stuntman and part-owner of the greatest wave in the world. As for his tonsils, one day they'll be bronzed and displayed in perpetuity at the surfing hall of fame, god bless him...
Okay, we get it. You bought this magazine because we hung Freakside off the cover. And, that's totally okay. Jamie O'Brien, who makes his bread through his movie profile rather than contests, is aware of the importance of getting a movie out there. Jamie made the calculation that he could sell, like, 5000 DVDs in-store, or turn on 20k by affixing Freakside to Stab. And who are we to say nay to a spike in sales? As providence would have it, the day we were supposed to be hitting the presses Jamie was hitting all the right buttons to win the Monster Pro at Pipe. It was his second Monster Pro title and his third big Pipe win (you might remember he ruled the Pipe Masters in 2004). The really cool thing was, January had absolutely cruelled our work ethic (what happened to the supposed narcotics drought?) so we hadn't even come close to picking up a phone and interviewing Jamie. Talk about a hook! I recorded the following conversation on the Monday after his weekend win. Jamie was en route to the gym, doing whatever necessary to slice the blubber from his junk-food belt.
Stab: Gym? Did I hear you right? Last time I looked you had your paws around whatever drive-through/odder was in close proximity? How'd you get so chubby?
Jamie: Oh, fuck, drink so many Red Bulls, eat so bad.
What sort of shitty food wreaked the damage?
Fuck, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Jack in a Box, Wendy's. When I go to Town or anywhere, the first place I stop is Jack in a Box.
I'm hearin ya, even though vanity and my faux vegetarianism normally kills my desire. So, like, you roll into McDonalds in your caddy, bouncing on 24s, what's your order?
Quarter pounder, fucken fries, fucken large Coke and a McFlurry or something. But I don't drink soda or eat McDonalds anymore. I've eaten it once in the last four months, maybe three times. Actually, I ate it the next day after I won the event. I was, like, Fuck this...
Have you ever won a contest other than Pipe?
Um, fuck, I don't think so.
How cool is that, three contest all at Pipe?
It's pretty fucken hilarious. That's the place to win too! I'd really like to win at Tavarua or Tahiti. To me, I'd love to win a contest in small waves but my Pipe trophies mean more than any of that shit. What gets you through so many heats at Pipe'.' Knowledge. Knowing where to be. I feel like I'm at home and I'm relaxed. It's just, kinda like, I tell myself I'm going out there to video, to just surf and get barrelled. Pretty much every time I got out there I get a pretty good one and I'm stoked.
Do all the other hoods in the heat tend to hover close by, feeding on your local skills?
Y'know what? The thing that really bothers me is they try and be too competitive and they're paddling too deep and it's, like, 'Why are you going to take it another 10 feet inside? I know you 're not going to make it and I'm not going to make it.' It gets irritating surfing a heat with four guys.
Freakside showed you as the owner of a refined sense of humour, particularly the North Shore skit. Now, just imagine a barney whom you quite like wants to surf Pipe. What advice do you give?
(Quoting from North Shore) "Beat it haole surfer, this is our wave!" Nuh, fuck, I mean, it's weird, man. I want people to surf Pipe that know how to surf Pipe so I'm not in danger. I don't want people on the shoulder causing a ruckus, paddling for everyone's waves. I almost wish they'd make a thing where you need a license to surf Pipe because there's so many retards out there. Beyond. You've gotta be qualified to surf that wave.
Talk to me about the madness...
One of the craziest things I've seen was when I was 16 and I was surfing with Gerry Lopez. It was the only time I've surfed out there in my life with him and I asked him, 'Gerry, why don't you just tell these guys, I'm Gerry Lopez, watch out, I want to get a good one! And Gerry's, like, I have my days out here and they don't know (who I am), that's cool.' God, if I was Gerry Lopez, I'd be like, 'Listen up everybody, outta my way, I gotta catch some waves!'
How often do you pull rank?
When I see someone who shouldn't be out there?
Yup, what do you tell em? 'Beat it, this ain't your home.'
Unoriginal, but powerful.
And, 'Get outta here, where you from?' Cause it sucks. When all those Australian boogie boarders come out, every year, like, fifty million of em, some are cool, some of em, paddle for your waves every time. When they start doing that, I warn them twice nicely, I tell them twice, 'Eh bra, can you not paddle for my waves, please?' I don't need that. And they're, like, 'No worries, sorry, I'm sorry.' And they do it again and I'm, like, 'Get the hell outta here!'
What are some of your other memorable lines. Do you employ, 'Beat it kook'?
Beat it, bra, pretty much, 'Beat it, where the fuck do you think you 're from?'
Do you lapse into pidgin when angered?
Nah, a little bit. I mean, when we get mad we slip into pidgin. When dogs get scared they bark really loud, when humans get mad they yell really loud.
How about your body language? Is vour chest thrust forward and do you pop your eyes?
Fuck, they're probably looking at me going, 'What the fuck? Who's that little guy trying to yell at me!' (Laughing) I've been yelling at guys out there since I was fucken 11. I've grown up a lot. Thank God, I'm a lot bigger than I used to be. If everyone was super cool it'd a cool place; but everyone's not cool and everyone thinks we're all assholes. All they do is put their heads down and crowd our spots. It's funny, if they opened their brain a little bit and talked to us it'd be better for them.
Where do you sit in the Pipeline hierarchy?
On a good day, when all the boys are out, who gets first bite, second bite etc? I don't like surfing when everybody's out, all the boys. I let them have their time and come out when it's more inviting and there's a lot more waves to be had. Makua holds it down out there. He gets any wave he wants. Even if I'm perfectly in position to get a barrel, Makua can have it. He earnt that spot.
How did he earn it?
He's the prince of the North Shore.
Big Eddie Rothman's the king, right?
Yup. Makua's unpredictable, he goes right when it's huge, he knows how to read the waves a lot better than most out there. Aside from riding Pipeline, it's all about reading the wave too. If you can't read it, you ain't gonna get barrelled.
You and KS are side-bv-side, set approaches, who gets it?
Me. Well, Kelly, when a wave comes in he's usually in a good spot. But he'll ask me, like, 'Which way you going?' Kelly's one of those guys you have to respect even though he's not from there. He's so good, you don't feel bad giving Kelly waves because you know he's going to fucken dominate the thing.
What about Bruce? A hypothetical super session. You and Bruce, side-by-side, eight foot, two hours, best two waves...
Oh, man, who fucken knows? Bruce... I love his surfing. Him and Kelly are and Johnny Boy Gomes, that's where I learnt everything, The way I visualise Pipe? I was, like, okay, well, Kelly's the best and look what he does and, oh wow, here comes Bruce and he's refined what Kelly's done. And then, oh my god, there's Johnny Boy dropping into big rights! Holy shit, a big closeout, and I ask him about the wave and he's like: 7 made dot one.'Tripping out, man!
You talk about respect for Pipe, respect for the consequences, but you do display a reckless abandon out there. How's that work?
It's one of those things where you sit on the beach and you're, like, 'Wow, it's heavy.' But once you get out there you're, like, 'Wow! Pulling into closeouts...wooooo!' It's a weird adrenalin rush. You're so excited it doesn't even matter, you're living for the moment. It's your moment and you have to live it. I think about it a lot, actually. I don't wanna get hurt, I don't wanna die. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to surf out there. But it's my everyday spot and I surf there every day.
Your dear manager, Andrew Long, told me about the photo shoot for Transworld where you're burning an ASP rule book, an apparent reference to your burning hate for the beleaguered organisation. Are you an anarchist?
Anarchy? I like their logo! It looks cool! Fuck, who doesn't like burning shit!
This is like shooting salmon in a bucket, quote-wise, cause I know you're going to fire up, but tell me, using as many fucks as you want, what \ou think about top-level professional surfing...
Fuck. I think the WCT's pretty cool and I think the WQS sucks ass. It's the biggest piece of shit tour I've seen in my life. That's why I like filming and surfing. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to worry about someone telling me how I'm going to qualify. To make my movie, I just go out and do airs and have fun.
How would you cure the apparent ills of the WQS?
I don't even know, bro, just bag the whole fucken thing and make it an invitational to the WCT. Because, fuck, you know who surfs the best waves in the world. Look at the waves on the WQS -they fucken suck. Who wants to surf those waves? A lot of guys get back on tour every year, just keep doing it, on that cycle, let's try and qualify for the CT again. Oh you did it! You're a great competitive surfer! But you're not doing anything for the sport of surfing. You're just re-qualifying every year so you can pay your bills, your house and what not.
I have another hypothesis, I'd like to test. How old are you, 22?
Twenty three.
I don't really care at this moment. Maybe. All it takes is one good year. So far, in my career, I've achieved everything I wanted. And more. Except for, y'know, that. I'm content with what I'm doing and I don't feel weird about it. Most of those guys make the CT to make more money. They don't make the CT to win world titles. They're, like, I'm on the CT, I want another $25,000. If I'm on the CT I want to fucken win one of these world titles.
Earlier, you said that you sometimes wished Pipe wasn 't your local spot. Do you care to expand?
Y'know, you can definitely get hurt out there and if you surf it every day you shorten your odds. It's going to catch up with you. I've broken both my legs out there, I've had stitches in my face and my legs and every year I almost drown. I almost drowned this year.
Did you seriously come close or is this dramatic use of hyperbole?
I questioned it: is this how it's supposed to end? I was.like, 'FUCK GOING LIKE THAT 'Swim... swim... double kicking to the surface. Bruce Irons calls you Stinky. Discuss. When I was younger, we were at a surf competition and Andy was going to surf and I didn't want to take a shower because I wanted to go watch Andy surf. And they'd been telling me to take a shower for the past coupla days I was a little grom and I was, like, fuck that. And I ran and they tried to catch me and make me have a shower. After that, it was, 'Ohhhh Stinky, you don't take showers! "
A little gay, men wanting you to shower? Definitely interesting. How you ended up living at Pipe with your dad?
My mom didn't like the beach that much. She liked horse riding and the country. When we moved to the beach, my mom split. I haven't seen my mom since I was 13. It's pretty trippy. She lives in Reno, Nevada.
Your old boy's Australian, mum's American. You've grown up in Hawaii. What do you call yourself?
What do you love about Hawaii?
Weather, waves, food, I love the town, I love the country. It has the greatest atmosphere, we have everything: snow, hot weather, cold weather, when it rains it pours, when the wind blows it blows hard. And the ocean's clean, so far.
What motivates you?
Wow, memories. Like, when you're paddling out, I remember last time when it was 12 feet it was just like this! I wanna get barrelled just like last time!'
You carrying a wallet? If you would, empty the contents onto the ground and describe its innards... (Long pause)
State of Hawaii license, date of birth, 06/09/83, I got a United Airline Mileage Plus, an ATM card, 24-Hour Fitness membership, Priority Checking Card, Aloha Airlines Mileage card, I have a receipt from Tiffany's for $375 for a bracelet with hearts I bought for my girlfriend. (Counting) Five, six, seven, 47, $647 in cash, I just got paid rent. I got a quote for lifting my truck, it's around $9500. I haven't done it yet because I'm trying to save money. Let's see. I got a Cadillac business card because I take my Cadillac in there to get maintenance. As for the wallet itself, it's Gucci. And it's in leather, not that freaky green-and -brown fabric they still spruik. My girlfriend bought it for me for Christmas or something. Probably about a $300 wallet. Not bad,eh?
Finally, how'd you stay clean all these years?
It's rare for a 23-year-old on the North Shore not to've lost their beak, at least once, in a hump of bump or fallen down the spout of an ice pipe. It's good I'm not home in the summer. A lot of people lose their minds in Hawaii in the summer because there's no waves. There's nothing to do, so people start partying and falling down that path. Luckily, I've travelled and got outta here every year. All I need to worry about is my surfing, not the next party.
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Reply #1 on : Thu January 24, 2008, 05:23:37