Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one

Marlon Lipke

Culture vs cutbacks

I don’t cover surf contests, I go to events. And if I happen to be going to a surf event, well then that is fine. And especially if that surf event is in Europe. I love brioche. I love tapas. I love The Guggenheim. I love the Castilian dialect. I love Billabong.

The European leg is oft overlooked on the world tour. The waves are tepid. Costs exorbitant. The women forced to bundle their gorgeousness under layers of finely combed wool. They fight the elements. So do surfers. Who bundle their gorgeousness under layers of neoprene.

But it is Europe, darlings.Europe.Keep your groomed Tahitian pits. Your Gold Coast perfection. I will take culture. Fashion. I will take neo-fascism. I will take Ace Buchan staring doe-eyed at a leggy Parisian smoking le cigarette.

I make the most. I don’t fly into Bilbao or any airport reasonably close to the Billabong surf event. I fly to Brussels first, for beer. Blonde and crisp. And to Lisbon second, to pick up my BMW. White and new. And stay the night in the Hotel Britannia which receives fabulous reviews.

Semi-deserved.

I will drive from Lisbon to Mundaka tomorrow. Over delightful Spanish countryside. Past hamlets that once ruled my California. Rolling green. I will listen to Antonio Carlos Jobim and Elis Regina.I hear from a man in France named Mr. Wolf that the start of the week is going to be flat. I trust and dawdle.And I hear he is wrong. That the first round was run yesterday in 3-foot mush. Oh well. I am drinking 50ccs of Stella Artois and looking at a Swede wearing a blonde ponytail. Europeans can be predictable. I suppose all nationalities can be. I am wearing a Vietnam-era jacket covered by a black Helmut Lang button-up. And jeans.

The Guggenheim

I imagine, in the 3-foot mush, that those who needed to power through, powered through. Dane called me and told me it was a blathering affair. He said he loves Spain but doesn’t like to surf anymore.

I call Bruce who told me he is not on the tour. He said he is not watching webcasts and won’t until the tour moves on to the North Shore. And he won’t then either. He will watch it live from his deck. I call him Brucey.

I wish Andy were on the tour. He has a rotten attitude and it makes me smile.I call Jordy and he said technically he was slightly disappointed in his performance. I ask him if anyone cares.I wish Joel Parkinson were either more interesting or less handsome. He is a bland movie star. Like Gerard Butler. If he was ugly I would and could write him off. Like Dayyan Neve.

I wonder if Bobby Martinez will punch me like he promised two years ago?

Reality check! A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.

I am still in Brussels. Third Stella Artois. It is raining. Everything is so modern. So steel and glass. I don’t know if I like the typescript they use here. And before you write, “this is the worst surf contest coverage ever.” Please remember, there’s a part of me that dies for the millionth time. And it’s my own cheating heart that makes me cry. And remember Sam George.

The Guggenheim

My flight leaves at 16:55. What the fuck time is 16:55? 2:00?

My phone bill is growing because I insist on calling pro surfers.

I don’t know why it is suddenly so popular to hate the WCT. Howling for a Rebel Tour. It doesn’t seem so bad to me. Of course it isn’t perfect. What is?

I will go to whatever meeting they have whenever they have and state as much.I call Aaron Cormican. He said he was never on the tour.

I call him Gorkin.- Charlie Smith

Kekoa

Tom
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #61 on : Tue October 13, 2009, 12:41:48

Charlie is nothing but a groupie. Why else would he tell everyone who he called. Quit dropping names Chas, nobody cares who you've had the pleasure of a night of passion with

Anonymous
Posts: 60

Kanga speaks!
Reply #60 on : Mon October 12, 2009, 08:05:11

http://www.surfline.com/surf-news/open-letter-to-the-asp--on-the-eve-of-historic-board-meeting-ian-cairns-offers-advice-to-the-asp_31201/

Anonymous
Posts: 60

Get one for me!
Reply #59 on : Sat October 10, 2009, 08:12:14

Dear Matt Pedersen,

Hope you have a good surf. As you know, the surf has been horrible here since the just before the Pro France. This gives me way too much time to blather on about surfing here and elsewhere, and it's starting to drive me crazy. I promise I'll stop commenting here until I get barreled again.

Sincerely,

Dave

smyrna jay
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #58 on : Sat October 10, 2009, 06:55:34

the tour would be more exciting with gorkin.

Matt
Posts: 60

Rome...again
Reply #57 on : Sat October 10, 2009, 04:49:38

Dave Mailman,

With all due respect this is a bigger problem than a couple of wave starved events. I will fully admit that there are some reactionary comments on this forum but thats life. If the ASP build an edifice then be prepared to have the mongols as you call us rip it down when we are fed shit.

The judging by all measures has been, and still is a major problem.

The number of surfers at each event are to large. Personaly I think 32 are enough.

There are to many 'fillers' on the CT. The performance of many the the guys is quite embarrassing. The QS and CT need a shake up.

No matter how rational I try to be, I cannot help but think the majority of the events have nothing to do with quality waves and everything to do with cynical marketing strategies targeting non surfing, wantabe tools. Dont use the CT for that purpose!

Sorry about the rant (and I could go on) but I have a horrible feeling that nothing is really going to change with the ASP until change is forced apon it. When that happens, you have already lost.

Matt Pedersen

P.S I'm going for a surf.

Taj's Burro™
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #56 on : Sat October 10, 2009, 04:33:17

Mailmanny, The ASP was built over 30 years. And still, thru the iron fist of these piker surf companies who control the whole lot, contests still pay out the same amount they paid 20 years ago.

And if it's inflation adjusted, the prize money is FAR LESS than 20 years ago!

Marked Man
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #55 on : Sat October 10, 2009, 04:17:49

Cote, you're over 30 and wear neon, Frogskins, tight leathers and skinny jeans. Your awareness of Helmut Lang may only aggravate the situation. And you probably spray your boards now like when you were 13 in 86.

chris cote
Posts: 60

Helmut
Reply #54 on : Sat October 10, 2009, 02:26:21

So, is your Helmut Lang button up a jacket or a shirt? If it's a shirt, it might look weird if it's worn over your army jacket. Either way, thank you Charlie for the blessing of your words. One question, are the pros of the Top 45 more or less homophobic while in Europe? I'd say less—but still not willing to admit anything.

Eurotrash
Posts: 60

Yerp
Reply #53 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 23:36:36

The European leg should be totally mobile. All 3 event windows just go to where the waves are... During the French event this year the guys could've been getting pitted in Scotland. During Mundaka Ireland will be good...
The last two years have been good for Northern Europe not the South, when the weather changes back then hit Hoss, Mundaka etc.
You don't need massive infrastructure. O'Neill puts on a QS in Thurso without VIP areas etc. Would keep interest in the tour alive- Madeira, Canaries, Norway and all the regular spots should be options...

Dave Mailman
Posts: 60

1-800-Dial-A-Swell
Reply #52 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 22:13:03

Matt,

You are correct about Rome burning... However, let's wait to see what happens with the swell during the waiting period before we let loose to the Mongol hordes on the town of Mundaka, and the Billabong and ASP Headquarters. There is a bump on the charts and it looks promising for a few good days in the Basque Country before it all ends. There is also Portugal still to come, so maybe all you A.D.D./instant gratification kids out there should put the matches away and learn a little patience before you burn the town down!

Matt
Posts: 60

Rome
Reply #51 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 20:26:01

Dave Mailman

Rome also burned while Nero fiddled about.

Mean while in Europe somewhere a dream tour turns to custard.

Dave Mailman
Posts: 60

1-800-Dial-A-Swell
Reply #50 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 20:24:44

Sorry, in case you hadn't guessed, the last "Anonymous" comment was from me!

The real reason that Billabong keeps running in Mundaka is that it's Occy's second home, and he'd be heartbroken if he didn't have a reason to go back to see Giuseppe and Teri at the Txopos bar every year!

Anonymous
Posts: 60

1-800-Dial-A-Swell
Reply #49 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 20:18:44

VoR,

If you have numbers for the direct line to Huey, Neptune or Mother Nature, please pass them along! I'm sure if we had any of them on board we'd score perfect surf at every event! Until then...

As for the Indo argument, you are right! The Junior events over there have had top quality surf for the last few years, and the Search event there scored too. Just so you know, the Searchers have been discussing logistics with Martin Daly, and Quiksilver still has an option on G-land that could come back into play. Hopefully, one or both of those options will happen, but don't expect either of them to happen overnight... Have a little patience. Good things come to those who wait. Remember what I said about Rome not being built in a day.

Dave Mailman
Posts: 60

Leggy Europeans
Reply #48 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 19:37:52

Voice of Reality,

The Tech Committee and Board Meeting are actually going on today and tomorrow in Mundaka, and if the discussions I had with a few of the surfers here in France are anything to go by, as well as the ones I have everyday with the CEO, then some change is in the air. Will it be enough change to make all of you happy. Probably not. But Rome wasn't built in a day, and not in 30 years either!
And no, I am not protecting my interests by defending the Mundaka event. Do you see me working on any of the Billabong or Quiky webcasts? No. Do I get paid for being President of ASP Europe. No. Do I love the sport of surfing, and try to affect change from the inside of the organization? Yes. Do I read, and agree with many of the negative points that come up on the different comment sections of these sites? Yes, but there is a way of diplomatically getting your point across and convincing the stakeholders that changes need to be made. Taking cheap pot shots at the ASP (50% surfers votes & 50% brand votes) via comment sections on websites using fake names is not the way to get things done!

Anonymous
Posts: 60

Basque is not a castilian dialet
Reply #47 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 18:06:55

How about if you talk us about the you´ve spent with your mates next to the spanish and french border paying for sex?

jason
Posts: 60

sorry jed
Reply #46 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 17:56:52

sorry im a dickhead and yeah im from brisbane. you cop enough shit on this thing...love u

jason
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #45 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 17:51:55

sorry. keep burning me.

jason
Posts: 60

jed smith
Reply #44 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 17:50:29

yeah jed, clearly your from brisbane, sell out stab to the biggest brizo brand in surfing..billabong ya crab.

Ghost-of-Herring
Posts: 60

Fletcher Christian
Reply #43 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 15:36:25

To Stella

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1A0p0F_iH8

Shane Peel
Posts: 60

Smith!
Reply #42 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 14:34:02

Way better than any coverage, nice work a story about the story. The style is getting a little old though. Brucey, Gorkin … Indeed!

yap
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #41 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 14:32:06

haha, forums.

Anonymous
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #40 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 13:01:08

I love surfing, and ASP keeps breakin my heart

Jed Smith
Posts: 1

My little brother, Jason
Reply #39 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 12:53:17

Why Jason of Brisbane, I think you'll find your comments down below. We only moderate the crudest of entries. I am interested to know, however, why you didn't include your name along with the postings by anon and Joey G directly above your first comment. Also, have you ever read any Orwell, Jason?

jason
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #38 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 09:47:41

why did you fucken faggots at stab delete my comments about billabong? pussies....bilabong sucks....leave this shit up

Anonymous
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #37 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 09:18:50

fucking billabong and their marketing agenda make the boys sit around at mundaka while groms are getting pits at keramas.
they should have an event at puerto escondido right before trestles instead.

Ho Mo Phobe
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #36 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 07:49:42

Nobody here is willing to admit that they were uncomfortable reading the following:

"Reality check! A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."

I'm sorry he hurt you Charlie.

voice of reality
Posts: 60

Tour Analysis at the final lap
Reply #35 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 06:36:35

Gold Coast.... without jet ski's a total wash
Bells... one half day at winki and a bad final
Tahiti... when they are scoring an end manouver, it isn't real
Brazil.... fat mush
JBay.... quality contest
Mushels... nuff said
France.... ditto
Spain.... why?

Can we please stop referring to this mess as a Dream Tour? As a surf trip, it would have been a disaster. No continuity of rules, judging or telecasts.

Another "meeting" to discuss the state of the union. Did Billabong or Quiksilver allow anyone to talk? Judging by the Mundaka "interviews", we know the surfers don't have much to say....

dude
Posts: 60

kekoa
Reply #34 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 05:40:55

That shot is well,ah,not so much.

marx's corpse
Posts: 60

Re: Charlie Smith Billabong Pro Mundaka round one
Reply #33 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 03:15:31

minty fresh, chas. you have sacks. it's better than anything lewis has written. keep being a prick.

RYMB
Posts: 60

PS
Reply #32 on : Fri October 09, 2009, 03:14:59

And thank you Charlie Smith for your Jamie Brisick impersonation. Hopefully you and Bobby Martinez will catch up.