Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview

Kamalei Alexander

Is that the sweet smell of Aloha?

There’s so many ways a North Shore trip can end badly. And, it isn’t just the waves on that radical 10-click stretch, just 40 minutes from Honolulu airport. If you don’t know the local etiquette, your world can go pear-shaped real quick. Stab visited Kamalei Alexander at the Backyards Sunset house he shares with Makua Rothman, Marcus Hickman (the best surfer at Pipe, says Andy Irons) and his brother, Kala. (For the full interview and more crucial advice, buy Stab #39, out mid-December.)

STAB: Do you have some vital advice for the Hawaiian novice?

KAMALEI: First up. I don’t blame anyone for living here or coming here. But, people have to have respect for the locals. You respect people who respect you. Second, you need a board that’s big enough to get you out there and get you in. I reckon 95 percent of surfers are on the wrong equipment. Too big or too small. Third. By dusk, you wanna be in on the beach. Four. Go to the beach with as minimal amount of people as possible. It’s hard to get mad at someone who travels one or two deep.

Is it wise for the average Australian tourist to throw out the wonderfully whimsical Hawaiian shaka? 

Shakas are all good, but no bro’s or brah’s. You say, “Hi, how are you?” Guys will say in the lineup, “Sorry, bro”, “What’s your problem, brah?” Brah? Bro? Who the fuck you talkin’ to? I aint your fucking bro and I ain’t your brah. Fuck you! But shakas are good.

Kamalei Alexander

Can you fuck up a handshake?

I’m pretty much the proper palm to palm, firm grip. For me it’s critical. I don’t want to squeeze anyone’s hand too hard and I don’t want to shake a limp fucken noodle. There is a fine line. You can tell a lot from a handshake. The bro shake is too fucking complicated. If I see someone going like this, (Kamalei performs a complicated shake) I’m like, fuck you. Also, if you give someone the nod it’s all cool, but don’t put your chin up in the air. That’s saying, “I’m cool, fuck you.” Putting your chin down is respectful. You look at someone and put your chin up, it’s like what you wanna fight. It’s a fine line.

If someone kinda stares at you in the water, is it okay to offer a welcoming hello?

Yeah, for sure. Life is too short; the world is too small. Luckily, I’ve been blessed by surfing to see a lot of the world. Like I said, I don’t blame anyone for being here. It’s fucken gorgeous out there. – Derek Rielly.

kain blip
Posts: 63

fish
Reply #63 on : Fri February 05, 2010, 09:48:21

screw all you 2 legged wanna be fish Im for real born in a test tube! biogenetic experiment gone wrong! yall aint even got gills! quit pissin in my ocean! yall taste the same anyway! whos ya mama! my mama been here longer then any a ya!

gconn
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #62 on : Wed February 03, 2010, 17:00:33

Please children! these local da hui boys must of them hapa haoles half filipino half irish ha ha! last names alexander and mcgee please! like my family is, Give respect to true malaysians and polynesians! as well as the Irish there.king Kamahamaha had haole children to.

alohi
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #61 on : Mon February 01, 2010, 00:34:34

The people on here talking about Hawaiians and what happens on the North Shore don't know anything. Probably never lived in Hawaii and certainly don't really know Kala or Kamalei. Kind of like someone from Hawaii talking about you without really knowing you or where you come from. Get over yourselves. This is what we'd call fact vs. fiction based on your opinion vs. any fact you have actually lived. From Hawaii. Born and Raised. Had to say something.

Amber
Posts: 63

ETIQUETTE - debate
Reply #60 on : Mon January 18, 2010, 13:07:19

I am a 24yr old new zealander female, who surfs, its the same back home in NZ if you think you can act like the man - or girl on someone elses beach then you will get the same treatment from the locals, dont call us bro without knowing us first, its dis-respectful, although New Zealand culture is easy, and laid back and we have a spirit of AROHA (love and peace) if you head onto our beaches with dis-respect for our maori culture then be prepared to get vibed.... although to start a fight over waves? c'mon, unless someone put you in immeidiate danger in the water leave your fists in your pockets guys....

Kia Ora.

Anonymous
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #59 on : Thu November 26, 2009, 21:37:29

Re read the interview everyone ITS NOT THAT BAD. This dude comes across as ok. Maybe even better than he would in real life I dont know the guy. I know we're all sick of hawaiins being too serious and a bit dumb but i think this interview is pretty reasonable when read in the context of is casual chat with Reilly. READ IT AGAIN! compared to the bullshit spouted by Johnny boy and eddie rothman back in the day esepcially..

Smack
Posts: 63

Kala
Reply #58 on : Wed November 25, 2009, 07:11:19

Yea ,Kala , that's the neanderthal dicklick who got his ass beat ( buy an Aussie BTW ) while filming the show 808 ,and had a cast on for like 3 episodes.

Kala absolutely is the worst example of a Hawaiian there ever was.If they were smart they would set him afloat with a few days supply of food a water and hope he ends up in Brazil.

They actually shot a whole show around him getting W O L F P A C K tattooed on his knuckles.

Fucking perfect example of a guy with LITTLE DICK SYNDROME that didnt finish the 7th grade.

Kala want POW? Go cook some rice Kala.

Hey Kala , Where my money Brah?

Anonymous
Posts: 63

Wrong billy sexcrime
Reply #57 on : Wed November 25, 2009, 02:43:45

Its a marine from Texas who is fighting not a brazo dude. And the fight on the beach is with Kala Alexander.

Nick
Posts: 63

FUCK YES
Reply #56 on : Tue November 24, 2009, 19:22:09

fuck all hawaiians man there soft as butter and cant do a turn to save there lives!! aussie pride mother fuckers AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

THE BEST CALL IN THE HISTORY OFF STAB

im a kiwi and i love Hawaiian becuase ther cool to us. but fuck that was a call and a half bro.

OI OI OI

Cory
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #55 on : Tue November 24, 2009, 07:57:16

Can't wait for that guy to finally get his. He is a leech and contributes nothing to humanity.

Smack
Posts: 63

Hawaii sucks.
Reply #54 on : Tue November 24, 2009, 02:07:45

I forgot the name of the total ass on that show The 808 .Was'nt he an Alexander too.? What an ass that guy was. Hawaii sucks. Wont ever have to worry about me clogging up the line up at Pipe or the other million spots.I'd rather fly to Centro for half the price,and 1/10 the crowd. F Hawaii!!!!
F off Brah!!!

Miki D
Posts: 63

Hawaiians are kinda like sad little children
Reply #53 on : Mon November 23, 2009, 23:08:44

All that aloha gone to waste.

Mike
Posts: 63

Ha ha
Reply #52 on : Mon November 23, 2009, 18:42:30

@ Bob Chillin': Possibly one of the funniest posts ever!

Taj's Burro™
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #51 on : Mon November 23, 2009, 08:07:09

Brother Iz, rest in peace... . he doesn't say anything about how you nod your head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdTj4sJ1CNA&feature=related

Bob Chillin'
Posts: 63

Lay Comma Lay
Reply #50 on : Mon November 23, 2009, 03:21:34

Readers of Stab, if you'd be so kind, I'd like to offer up some insights.

I remember when I had a similar mind set to Comma Lay's. I was about the same age and build. And I was angry at the world that I had to turn cheap tricks in my sugar daddy's attic in order to just get by.

In my day, I'd pop in my cassette tape of Yaz's Upstairs at Eric's--ironically, my sugar daddy's name was Eric--remove my shirt, stare into my trick's face with a come-hither-but-keep-your-lucky-to-be-here-chin-down-mother-fucker look, cup my hands over my crotch, and prepare to earn my keep.

Like Comma Lay, to stay sane, I had to devise a set of rules for my visitors. Comma Lay obviously prefers the female role and takes exception to "bro" or "brah"; I forbade my tricks from calling me "sis" or "bitch." One "sis" or "bitch" meant one swift backhand to the head. Trouble is, some of them liked the slaps and thought I just wanted to play rough. Maybe Comma Lay likes it rough, but I doubt it.

I sense that beneath that steely veneer rests a gentle pussy cat who just wants love without the boom box.

Taj's Burro™
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #49 on : Sun November 22, 2009, 15:22:10

The truth is, Australians don't tip because our opinion is that if you are a waiter or a waitress you are shite arsed loser and don't deserve a bleeding tip.

Kamalei should have reminded Aussie that when in Hawaii, flash the green ya, ockers.

Should have reminded all Aussie that on top of it all, the exchange rate's never been so good.

King Mahoo
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #48 on : Sun November 22, 2009, 05:22:37

The only people this worried about respect are the ones who show none whatsoever to others.

Good luck trying to keep spots on an island with a bazillion people localized.

wrong
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #47 on : Sun November 22, 2009, 03:13:15

Sucks Stab had to roll like this. I hope the boys don't blame you when Kala goes to jail for life as this is going to happen with in the next few months so i would watch it as he has nothing to lose now!!

Taj's Sphincter
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #46 on : Sun November 22, 2009, 00:17:39

How's the web trawling going? Get any waves lately or do you just creep around surf blogs thinking up witty faux samuels comments in your spare time. Do you secretly hope that stab will come to love your banal meanderings and request your services and allow you to name your price?

Australians do not tip because our minimum wage allows people to survive on it. The self proclaimed greatest country in the world does not. Trademark that cock smoker

billy sexcrime
Posts: 63

kainoa
Reply #45 on : Sun November 22, 2009, 00:06:29

That fight on the youtube clip is Kainoa McGee VS. some Brazo dude thats hanging around in the comp area during a bodyboard comp. When he gets to the beach he tries to take on a lifeguard and gets rolled.

Fighting is gay though.

steve
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #44 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 23:36:35

The full on hawaiian locals take themselves way too seriously. I believe in the respect element, but the rest of their act like the bro/brah, and nodding shit is total balls. Morons. Get fucked I reckon.

Bubu Lai'a
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #43 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 19:25:43

Hawaiians have chips on their shoulders because they were a proud warrior people who had their asses handed to them by a group of better warrior people.

Should've invented guns motherfuckers!

Anonymous
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #42 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 16:44:19

the first person to float down a river on a log did invent boats moron. speed is just an improvement on an original idea.

SL#ce
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #41 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 15:45:03

the embed didn't work below so heres the url
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICEjgODR3FA

SL#Ce
Posts: 63

This should make you laugh
Reply #40 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 15:43:42

These fucking cartoons are the funniest shit i've ever seen. I laugh my ass off everytime i watvh these
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ICEjgODR3FA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ICEjgODR3FA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Taj's Burro™
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #39 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 13:01:29

That's funny, Kamalei's guide to etiquette in Hawaii.

Now, could an Aussie or two return the favor and offer up a list of etiquette whilst in The Lucky Country?

You know, how to roll like an Aussie? Such as drink a case or 3 of VB daily? And fail to tip at every bloody opportunity?

You know,... how to fit in and act like most all Australians?

Complete bogans.

Statue Bro?
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #38 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 10:41:52

Gee, the Hawaiians are real respectful when they have visited NZ in the past.
Then again they look pretty skinny next to some of the Cuzzies. The boys nod chin up and you dont want to be punching that shit I promise you that Bro.

Chris
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #37 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 08:37:20

The funny thing is, all the locals in Hawaii want the respect, but they won't give an ounce of it in return. If you want respect, you should be able to give it in return.

Mark
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #36 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 06:40:18

I have to admit the whole macho-intimidation deal can be tough to handle, particularly if you live there year round, but if you are straight up with the Hawaiians they will usually let you be.
I will say this. Kamalei surfed INCREDIBLY well in the World Cup last year. Smooth and precise on that red board just flying up and around the expansive canvas of Sunset Beach. Very impressive.
And no I am not just saying that so I won't get beat up.

Anonymous
Posts: 63

Re: Hawaiian etiquette Kamalei Alexander interview
Reply #35 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 06:16:30

You guys that don't get the attitude-
it's self preservation.
If Kala didn't exist, or Eddie Rothman didn't exist before him, there would be no Andy Irons, no Sunny Garcia, no Jamie O, no John John. There would be a big hotel at Pipe, and no Hawaiians around besides the cleaning ladies.
They did it with their fists but they changed the future of Oahu as much as any politician.
I've been "taught".
When I got here 14 years ago, Kala snapped on me for existing. I saw other guys get the shit beat out of them for nothing. I thought it was wrong at the time, but now I know, if that hadn't happened, there would be ten times as many people here as there are, and the place would be ruined for everyone, even the tourists.
Wherever you're from, you gotta share, but you can't give the whole thing away. People would take it all if we let them- somebody has to say- this is mine, this is for us, this is for our kids-

Dis won buggah, eh!
Posts: 63

Is mo fo bettah!
Reply #34 on : Sat November 21, 2009, 04:34:15

All these chip-on-their-shoulder hawaiians need to get off their high horsies and finally thank the white man for giving them surfing.
Honkies invented fins, fiberglass, wax, leashes- pretty much the entire modern surfboard. For hawaiians to keep trying and claiming surfing is retarded. Saying they created it is like saying the first dude to float down a river on a log invented speed boats.

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