The king is sooo not dead

Dane

The king is sooo not dead

There is a whole school of surfing in which grace is developed until it is the one essential and big, rail digging, water throwing hacks are eliminated as far as possible, which is very much the art and venue of Adriano de Souza. Adriano is too great and sensitive an artist to be a complete surfer, so he gradually avoided, as much as possible, those parts of surfing which had to do with or were capable of bringing on a critically dug rail.

In this way he developed a way of working with the wave in which grace, picturesqueness, and the true beauty of an inappropriate claim replaced and avoided the brusque classicism of power surfing. And then there is a whole school in which power, or rather bigness, is the goal and dainty minuets and speed checks are almost entirely removed which is the art and venue of Jordy Smith.

Jordy has too much physicality to be small on a wave. He must overpower in every facet. By nature, he must destroy the wave and there is nothing subtle about any aspect of it. On a day when the physical characteristics of the waves at a beach named Johanna resembled a clogged sink being churned by a broken garbage disposal both Adriano and Jordy failed in their heats. Jordy very much less than Adriano. Adriano very badly. The nearest you come to a perfect combination of power and grace is Taj Burrow and his only fault is that everything in surfing is so easy for him to do that it is difficult for him to give it the emotion that is always supplied by, say, Adriano’s evident physical inferiority, not only to the wave he is riding but to every one who is working with him and most of those who are watching him. Watching Taj is like seeing a James Bond film when you were a boy. You did not worry about him finally because he had too much ability. He was too good, too talented. It is why Taj has never won the title. Because the essence of the greatest emotional appeal of surfing is the feeling of immorality that the surfer feels in the middle of a great section and that he gives to the spectators. He is performing a work of art and he is playing with the laws of nature, banishing gravity and the human’s evolutionarily dictated land-dwelling existence. He gives you the feeling of his immortality, and, as you watch it, it becomes yours.

When you have a surfer to whom surfing is as easy as it is to Taj he cannot give the feeling or rather share it because he is too good. And when he wins it is more like a victory of the gods. The present-day surfer who dominates the waves most completely with his body and board, who masters the waves quickest whether they are giant or weak and then executes most often all the classic and progressive moves, on both left and right hand, cutbacks and top turns which are the base of all sincere surfing, and yet is excellent in the picturesque and graceful aerials above the lip is Kelly Slater. At the start of his career his style was faulty, he twisted and corkscrewed with the board and his naturals were not at all natural but forced, made very much on the bias of youth, and affected looking. He has, over his career and even until today, steadily improved his style until it is now almost competitively perfect. He has become much more robust in health, even with a broken foot, and with his great knowledge of waves, and his very great intelligence, he can an give adequate and interesting performance with any wave that comes into the competitive site. Even at Johanna.

A smattering of other surfers who made it into the last day of the competition contest fell somewhere competitively adequate on the grace/power continuum. Mick, Joel, Bobby and Bede. They are all serviceable. They all show coolness and an ability to move the surfboard well, driving it though turns also airs. Some of their personalities are more attractive than others. None are new phenomenons in the sport.

Near the end, Mick defeated Taj and Kelly defeated Bobby Tom Curren defeated Occy and then Kelly defeated Mick by completing an unnatural and very immortal air on a busted foot. His board came unstuck from his busted foot as he went straight into the sky. His board pointed back down at the zenith of the aerial and he crashed into certain wipeout. He twisted and turned in the whitewash eventually popping straight up and looking toward the heavens. Rain poured forth from them on to us both. This gratified me and I will tell you of an odd occurrence. The surfer is polygamous as a human animal, but occasionally an individual is found that is monogamous. Sometimes a surfer on tour will come to so care for one of the thousands of women scattered around that he will make no case for all the others and will only have to do with her and she will refuse to leave his side in Torquay or Brazil or South Africa or France. When this occurs the surfer’s friends try to remove the woman from their group and if the surfer does not return to polygamy he is sent with the other married surfers toward early bedtimes and not drinking alcohol and social death. If you find that a sad story know this, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true story teller who would keep that from you. - Charlie Smith

jhdklqym
Posts: 48
Comment
jhdklqym
Reply #47 on : Sun May 23, 2010, 13:51:59
[URL=http://jmkshtky.com]bbcsxzvw[/URL] <a href="http://qokrwutu.com">rxwaylgc</a> abazffex http://pdvahvpa.com yfojznhy empurbxs
Eisonhawk Salvatore O'hana Hannah
Posts: 48
Comment
lifted heralding bat
Reply #46 on : Sat April 17, 2010, 14:01:13
you just had to write it this way before 420 did'nt you, Chas?
rupert
Posts: 48
Comment
why anthony hughes is a dickhead
Reply #45 on : Fri April 16, 2010, 13:34:27
sorry Anthony that your lowbrow intelligence fails to stomach the intricacies of Charlies' writings. perhaps consult a dictionary.

people that say "god i despise your writings Chas" are the kind of people who go through their entire life digesting what everyone gives to them without considering its origin or trying to understand why a certain piece was written. thank you Mr. Smith, for finally providing the surfing world with journalism that is controversial and doesn't continually blow sunshine up the ass of every surfer who is paid/has a sticker on their board/rules the lineup ect. ect.

people, grow the fuck up.
chasfkkr
Posts: 48
Comment
fkk this chass retarding surfers minds
Reply #44 on : Fri April 16, 2010, 03:27:57
charlie has a brown in his pants-his articles stink.learn from bukowski how to be gross and sexy same time-you wannabe writer cum sucking boogie boarder.
anthony hughes
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #43 on : Thu April 15, 2010, 11:45:16
the writing is good but you need to learn your target audience
anthony hughes
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #42 on : Thu April 15, 2010, 11:38:15
fuck mate you writing a story for surfers not an extended english essay cut the bull shit and tell it how it is
Anonymous
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #41 on : Wed April 14, 2010, 21:41:30
what a boooooooring read
dd
Posts: 48
Comment
Sentences
Reply #40 on : Tue April 13, 2010, 12:13:23
Gustavo, aprende a falar inglês direito que você entende, brother.
gustavo
Posts: 48
Comment
damn
Reply #39 on : Tue April 13, 2010, 10:41:23
i thought my english was broken, after reading this article. then i realized it was not my fault. man, you have to write less on the same sentence. it gets really hard to understand anything. and by the way. what the f... you've just said??
Carl
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #38 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 22:00:18
I'm Dave, I'm micktorious!
Dave
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #37 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 20:49:19
This article looked interesting... until I realized who it was written by. Then I didn't bother reading it.
Anonymous
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #36 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 15:16:33
is that a Target logo on Kelly's board? (The little green circle near his front foot ...
kola
Posts: 48
Comment
Don't read past the heading.
Reply #35 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 10:43:13
I'm positive that all the athletes mentioned don't care about what you think, nor does anybody who has attained a fourth-grade or higher reading level.

Charlie you really need to work on Structure. Your sentence structure is some of the worst I have read. Your structures are awkward and hinder the reader from achieving their goal of finishing the article. When I have to stop reading a paragraph because the sentence is structured so awkwardly, the analogies are weak, and you just try too hard to be edgy, that is just plain bad writing.
Word
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #34 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 03:19:02
Chas, this is the most unnecessarily incomprehensible bullshit I've ever read. have you ever heard of a run-on sentence? how about "active" vs. "passive"? Great analogy: "on a day when... the physical characteristics of the waves... resembled a clogged sink being churned by a broken garbage disposal."

Lewis, where you at?
Rudy (Brazil)
Posts: 48
Comment
still the guava
Reply #33 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 01:16:24
I (and guava) meant all Australians, and some Americans. But as the journalists help spread the ignorance and prejudice, their responsibility for perpetuating this twisted view is greater.
Rudy (Brazil)
Posts: 48
Comment
mentioning the sweet guava
Reply #32 on : Mon April 12, 2010, 00:01:24
All Australian journalists already have a preconceived idea of Brazilians.
We are all dazzled by the surf and blind fans of the first world.
We read little and badly, we were malnourished and our idea of civilization is sparse.
Mostly, we are not reliable.
So we are read by that gang.

Not their fault, the average level of culture in Australia is a poverty from a Dickens's tale and other languages are completely ignored.
A leakage of this desert of ideas is the surf, where the subject can parade their noble ignorance for the world to reach some lighting.
There is no exception.
jon
Posts: 48
Comment
King ChazZ
Reply #31 on : Sun April 11, 2010, 18:50:39
How can anyone hate on this. Every word had a purpose and came together perfectly. Thanks Chazz for not being a Robot and writing something worth reading.
Anonymous
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #30 on : Sun April 11, 2010, 12:13:02
I love when people who have a third grade reading level comment on something obviously above their heads. Keep it up Chazz!
Lei Lei
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #29 on : Sun April 11, 2010, 10:58:05
Going by the title (the only thing I could make sense of) I think I would be interested in the content of this article. But, Chaz Smith's writing style is so painful I couldn't even make sense of the first sentence let alone the preceding 5 paragraphs. Reminds me much of ol' Joey Tribiani....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s0LqZMsfTQ
Try hard.
jvn
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #28 on : Sun April 11, 2010, 09:48:09
the first sentence literally made no sense. that's as far as i read. chaz is a wanker. i'm a hater. the comments at nugable.com are better.
charliesmithisaradname
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #27 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 22:22:12
I dont understand how this guy gets published. Cut all the gibberish bullshit. Everyone can appreciate a refreshing breath in surf media (YES) but your writing makes me want to french kiss a shotgun before happily pulling the trigger.Its just so goddamn boring

Adriano was ripping the whole event, he just had awful waves in his heat.
Its just so cool to be a hipster, i forgot.
Martin
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #26 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 19:17:52
very nice article i have to say.
great work.
the king is dead, long live the king!!
Anonymous
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #25 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 18:56:05
This new formal prose style made me laugh every single day I read especially when reading all the other people covering from the blowhard Nick Carolls to the try to be cools. Bravo Stab!
Bodhi
Posts: 48
Comment
Kelly will win number 10
Reply #24 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 18:25:57
I want Kelly to win number 10 and he will do it. I mean, let's hand him his tenth world title straightaway and spare everybody some time, ok? Look, here, it's yours. ASP should do it right now for the services he has made to surfing. Many awesome performances... That final, just to mention finals in Bells, against Bede was epic! And that final against Parko. OMG!

Wow, that alley oop was the best move of the entire contest, and it was in the final, made by the best of the bests. Who wants more? When i first saw that, it struck me "OOWWWW there's no way this guy is going to stand tall after this". And the bastard did. Tall like a giant.

And the guy is even funny! The funniest in the WT by far. (Well, ok, maybe Roy Powers is a little funnier). Gonna give the trophy to the indigenous people. Right. And what they're gonna do with that? Stick up their asses? Really, what you can do with a trophy anyway?

In Kelly's case: "It's not what the trophy can do for you, but what you can do for the trophy".

I rest my case.
Anonymous
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #23 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 18:24:53
Slater again impresses us all....there i was thinking he was surfing average and he comes and does that shit. guys is a freak of nature

btw Chas i have the feeling your one of these guys who picked up surfing in your late teens to early 20´s? go have a look at black and white and the early momentums. his style was impeccable back then. he seemd to put on some weight (muscle) after around 23 and his style changed. not as slick but more power. i reckon slaters surfed his worse from 29 to 32 then came back more polished when he challenged Andy. Now is technique is flawless yet his style was best 18 to 23. No one has surfed that good, well looked that good with basic moves before or since those years IMO.
Adriano is totally underated. Genetically he is small and stocky which is a disadvantage but he fucking blows up. He will be a contender
Steds
Posts: 48
Comment
Where's my 15 minutes?
Reply #22 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 17:43:16
What Chas? You're all over my shit on the Goldie and now it's the cold shoulder. I see how it is now. You'll be crawling back for more. Just wait and see.
Anonymous
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #21 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 17:31:58
charlie again was best in show of all the coverage of bells. so funny how he mixed his style up
kane
Posts: 48
Comment
charlie smith
Reply #20 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 13:01:18
Can you please go back to the old way you used to write stories. This new style of yours is quite hard to read and takes much effort on the part of the reader to get through your stories. can someone please edit these stories before they get published?
wellsy
Posts: 48
Comment
my eyes went dry
Reply #19 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 12:00:51
i love STAB and all the thorny arm chair quarterback comments- love it....but this was like sprinkled glass in my eyes trying to process this overdone marbles in the mouth uuuuh literature -keep it simple and gritty but if you want to write novels or poems leave em in the sketch book. Keep slayin it STAB.
surfcheck
Posts: 48
Comment
Re: The king is sooo not dead
Reply #18 on : Sat April 10, 2010, 11:55:00
Great coverage Stab, compare this to the industry syncophants, Charlie's series of articles sans BS parties because he wasn't invited redirected us to the surfing which was great despite the crappy waves, hope you send Charlie to Brazil.

And Kelly- long live the king. Over-scored on the air? Only Slater has the preternatural ability to totally lose contact with his board and stick it in the end. The usual suspect's mouths are suddenly dry. A wide-open season awaits.

Write a comment

  • Required fields are marked with *.

If you have trouble reading the code, click on the code itself to generate a new random code.
 
Showing comments 1 to 30 of 47 | Next | Last