OZ & MYLEE’S ADVENTURES OF DEATH IN THE PITCH BLACK LOVE MACHINE…
At some point, most surfers buy are seduced into buying the counter culture myth via a vintage Kombinationskraftwagen, commonly abbreviated to “Kombi”. These frightful pieces of automotive garbage are expensive, unreliable and, crafted well before seatbelts or airbags, are desperately unsafe. Ozzie Wright and his gal Mylee bought an unregistered version on ebay for $20,000. Adventure ensued…
Interview by Vaughan Blakey
Photos by Richie Freeman
For a kid who spent his childhood in treehouses and playing with Lego pirate ships, Oz Wright was never gonna be the kind of guy who got off on the roar of engines. To him, grunt and muscle were words more likely to be associated with women’s professional surfing than a finely tuned V8 Holden or hyper deluxe V12 Audi. The four cars he owned before his latest purchase cost him a grand total of 3620 skins and that’s including repairs. So when Stab got wind that Oz had thrown down enough green to buy a small island on a new ride, we had to check that shit out. Alfa? Porsche? Lamborfettucine? No way! Oz and his ladylove Mylee drive, or drove to be accurate, a 1967 VW split-screen microbus (made in Hanover, Germany) nicknamed The Love Machine. Or at least they did until Oz so feared for the safety of his gal and their newborn son, Rocky River Wright, that he bought the fam a 2003 Toyota Corolla…
STAB: Tell us about your previous chariots.
The first car I owned was a Red Laser, 84 model. Donated to me by my late grandmother Constance Wright. I drove it for about five to seven years. Spent about 20 bucks on it total in that time. I never had it serviced, never gave it oil. The money I spent on it was for petrol. It was covered in rust and when I had to get it through rego I’d put Volcom stickers over the holes and they never even looked under em. Dream wagon. It last for ages. The next one was a white Laser that I bought in Clarke St (a street on the same block Oz grew up in) for $600 and I had that for a couple of years before it exploded and I had it towed away. Then I bought a Mercedes from Collaroy for $3000. Drove that around for three years till it exploded and I got it towed away. Then my mum gave me her old silver Honda Civic hatchback. We called it the skull machine cause we drew a huge skull on the bonnet of it. Drove that for a few years till it exploded and I got it towed away. And then we got the Kombi.
So you don’t buy wheels to reflect your success?
Um… No.
Why a Kombi?
We saw one up at Little Narrabeen one day. Mylee and I saw it and just got real excited about driving around Australia and camping in it. We wanted a camping van. Actually Jo and Justin Crawford inspired us because they had the Bedford that they’d saved from Pittwater Road from Cowboy and I was like “Oh, I wanna van I can go down the coast in and camp and go surf in.” Anyway after we saw that Kombi we were just like, man, they’re the coolest cars. We could have so much fun in that.
Would you say that you were in the early stages of your romance with Mylee at this stage? You know where every idea you have is a good idea?
Definitely. Totally. Everything was awesome.
So how did this one go from post-coital pillow-talking fantasy to let’s-go-to-the-bank-and-withdraw-20-gees reality?
Well, we just got really obsessed with Kombis, split-screen Kombis actually, and we drove up to Noosa on a Goons tour and we were spotting them everywhere and we’d be, like, so excited. We’d look at the driver and never think they looked stoked on what they had and we’d think if we owned one that we’d be killing it. So we started trying to get one. We saw one at Burleigh that we loved and we made a gay little sign with our phone number on it offering to buy it but we got no reply. We started to figure out people who own Kombis really love owning them.
There was a rumour going around you forked out over 100k for your current ride?
(Laughs) It wasn’t that much but it was a lot. I bought it on ebay and if I only learned one thing it’s that buying something like a car on a computer without actually checking it out first – it’s probably not such a good idea.
“The best times we’ve had was down around Lorne when we’d park on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean and make a big beautiful bed in the back with clean pillows sheets and play scrabble and cook dinner and go camping. Those moments made it all worthwhile because that’s exactly what we’d pictured from the first moment we saw the Kombi at Little Narrabeen.”
So you bought the car on your computer from Sydney and it was in Melbourne, right?
Yeah, we were so excited cause in the photo it looked pretty cool and the guy on the phone seemed pretty trustworthy. He was like, “Yeah, yeah, it’ll get through rego and it goes great.” So I packed a board and Mylee packed a guitar and we were gonna fly down pick it up and do this big camping trip back up the coast. In retrospect I don’t know what we were thinking.
Sounds like the guy saw you coming before you got on the plane?
He sounded like a nice guy so I figured I could trust him and even when we picked it up my first impression was, “Oh yeah, this is pretty sick!” Then we started driving and I just thought: “Oh my god this car is a piece of SHIT!” I don’t even want it. We got about an hour down the road and the clutch cable snapped and there we were stranded on the side of the road. Just by chance there happened to be a fully-blown Kombi enthusiast mechanic about 40 minutes away. So we got the Kombi on the tow truck, took it there and they put it up on the hoist and the guy just looks at me and says, “Mate, this car is a piece of shit.”
Wow, when those Kombi guys say something’s shit they really mean it huh?
The guy was shattered. He just said it was full of rust and not worth the cost of towing it to his shop. So I rang the guy who’d sold it to us to try and get our money back and he was like, “What? No way in hell.” Apparently, the same thing had happened to him. His son had bought it for a heap of money and they’d poured more into it trying to get it roadworthy but it just wasn’t happening.
How’d you get home?
We got a train to Melbourne, a bus to the airport and flew home.
And the Kombi?
When we couldn’t get the money back the guys at the Kombi joint were, like, “Look, we can rebuild her, but it’ll probably take six months and cost a shitload more money” so I just said “Do it” and left.
And when was the next time you spoke to them?
About six months later (laughs). I just got home and completely forgot about it.
Meanwhile, they’re down there doing the six-million-dollar man. I feel a montage of welding and guys in oil stained overalls and bits of engine going in and out with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background coming on.
Yeah they did a lot of work on it and when I finally spoke to them again it was all fixed up and ready to be painted. A painter called me and he said “You can get it any colour you want,” and me and Mylee tried to decide on a colour for two months. My mum was, like, “Get it painted pink!” But in the end we decided on matte black.
Now, most VW enthusiasts don’t like anything other than the official =factory colours. Were these guys down with black?
The guy says “Any colour you want” but when I said black he goes “Nup. We can’t do it black. What about orange and white or sky blue?” And I said, “Um I’m thinking black would be pretty cool.” Then I hear him scream out to some bloke in the background, “He’s talking about painting it fucken black. And you could hear this angry voice in the background scream out. “Black? You’re fucken jokin’!” And he gets on and says, “Mate if ya paint it black it’s gonna look fucken shithouse, you’re gonna ruin it.” And I just said, “Well I reckon it’ll look great black.” He just sighed and that was that.
Did you get the impression the guys started feeling like it was their baby? That they’d nurtured it back to health on the teat of their love and expertise and they were fretting that you just didn’t understand the love that one must feel when owning a Kombi?
No. I think they were stoked to get rid of it. It’d been in their shop for seven months.
“The mechanic asked what colour we wanted it painted. I said, “I’m thinking black would be pretty cool.” Then I hear him scream out to some bloke in the background, “He’s talking about painting it fucken black. And you could hear this angry voice in the background scream out. “Black? You’re fucken jokin’!” And he gets on and says, “Mate if ya paint it black it’s gonna look fucken shithouse, you’re gonna ruin it.” And I just said, “Well I reckon it’ll look great black.” He just sighed and that was that.”
So another trip south of the border to pick it up?
We got it delivered by TNT. When it arrived I thought, “Yeah, this thing is sick” but I was a little apprehensive. Anyway, I had to get it registered so I drove it down to the mechanic and all was going good. Then I started driving home and I hear this clanging and I look in the mirror and see one of my hubcaps rolling down the road. So I pulled over and ran back to get it and just as I got to it a bus came ran over it and flattened it. I was like, “FUCK!” Cause the hubcaps are chrome and real cool looking. So I chucked it in the back and kept driving and about 100 meters down the road I ran out of petrol.
You lovin’ your new wheels by this stage I’ll bet?
Well, it was 38 degrees and I ran to a petrol station filled up a can and when I got back I couldn’t get the petrol cap off. I just lost it and broke it off with my bare hands.
I’m surprised you didn’t pour the petrol all over it and throw a match on the thing?
It’s had some shockers. I bought a stereo for it but then it rained and the whole thing leaks so the stereo lasted about a week. And when we drove it down to Lorne for the Falls Festival the front wheel just fell off. As we were driving it just came off and rolled away and we just veered straight off the road into a ditch and had this huge crash. The doors flew open and Mylee hit her head on the roof. We eventually jacked it up with a couple of logs and changed the tyre. It has a petrol leak too so you can’t fill it over half a tank. When we were down in Victoria we thought we’d better take it back to the mechanics. We got another flat tyre on the way so that held us up for another few hours because Kombi tyres are hard to find. Then when we finally got the mechanics, like literally turning into the driveway, some chick rear-ended us.
Do you think the fact that you’re in such a good place in your life – in love, baby boy in a crib, teeth not bleeding anymore – that you’ve been able to cope with this car being such a… well, a cunt?
I have been in a very good mood since I’ve owned it so nothing has really got me down. But Mylee and I were terrified of that car after a while. We’d be driving along waiting for the next disaster and sure enough along it would come. But on a positive note, it hasn’t killed us (laughs).
There must be some good times. Surely it can’t be that much of a sadist?
Well, we drove every inch of the coast road home from Lorne to Sydney. We checked every town and every beach and the distance we covered is probably the equivalent of driving to Perth. The whole way was super bumpy cause the suspension is terrible, the thing smells like petrol, it’s super loud and has no radio. Poor Mylee was so uncomfortable cause she was six months pregnant but for me it was a good bonding experience. I really started to love the Kombi after that drive
Any particular moment stand out as extra special?
The best times we’ve had was down around Lorne when we’d park on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean and make a big beautiful bed in the back with clean pillows sheets and play scrabble and cook dinner and go camping. Those moments made it all worthwhile because that’s exactly what we’d pictured from the first moment we saw the Kombi at Little Narrabeen.
That’s so… beautiful. And romantic.
Yeah, but then when we were camping at Bells it got so windy that we had to shut all the windows and doors and the petrol fumes got so bad that Mylee started vomiting.
Let’s talk about some specifics, in particular the wingnut-bolted, split-screen windshields?
Yeah, they’re awesome. Mylee’s done some filming out those windows a few times. You can keep them open while your drive but your hair goes back and you get out looking like a crazy person (laughs). I only did it once. I’ll probably never do it again.
Kombi etiquette on the road is pretty full-on. You gotta throw a peace sign to your fellow Kombi driving brothers or your name is mud.
Yeah, you gotta wave to other Kombi drivers. It’s a big deal. I get stoked though when people acknowledge the Kombi on the road. The other day we pulled up at some lights next to another split-screen Kombi driver and it was like a race to wind down the windows to say “Nice car mate!” Kombi drivers love Kombis, man. It was fucken hilarious.
Let’s talk ponies. What’s it packing under the hood? You got a red line on your speedo?
Um, top speed down hills you can get it up to 120 and on the flats about 100. But it likes to be driven at about 90.
What about your mates: Stedman in his Audi, Nudes in his Land Rover? What do these high rollers make of your wheels?
They probably think it’s ridiculous and that I’m an idiot (laughs)
Can you ever see yourself throwing down for European luxury or Aussie muscle?
Um… I very much doubt it, but I did just buy a used Toyota Corolla just so getting to the shops isn’t such an ordeal.
Herbie was the famous Volkswagen love bug, what’s the Ozzie Wrong Kombi known as round the Ickaboo island (Wright household)?
(laughs) Oh it’s the Love Machine. Definitely.
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Reply #5 on : Sun September 14, 2008, 19:21:08